T___T

Dec. 17th, 2011 11:15 pm
lloll4: ice lolly shaped like Mickey Mouse (ponyo squeezed)
[personal profile] lloll4
See icon. So much.

Finally got my grades. All B's. Which is averagely... average, and also means I've lost my funding. (It required at least an A to make up a higher grade point average.) So, dammit.

Also have to buy some very expensive textbooks for next term. Ditto.

Not to mention paying more for tuition. Ditto, ditto, ditto.

...It's my own fault for not being as hardworking as I ought to have been, and also shortcomings in my own IQ level, so can't really blame anyone. But still, di... yeah. (ETA: If it sounds like I'm sighing a lot, it's because I'm feeling doubtful about doing the next term. My brain has been having "Look, if you're not smart enough for this then so be it, give up and get a job" vs "Are you just scared about going through with the next term and doing even worse?" vs "What have you got to lose?" arguments with itself all day. >_>)

On a tangentially related note, have been doing volunteer work at pro bono office. Paperwork. Answering phones. And other stuff. But it's pretty interesting, plus it's bracing to be in the company of people who have a mission to help and who are not singlemindedly focused on grades, grades, grades. Only annoyance is, because it's a regular working stint, am feeling tired out at the end of the day; I feel almost too tired to go teach after work, which then makes me feel irritable. And then even more tired by the time it finishes. It's a bit sad to be eating dinner at 10.30. Am using an alarm clock these days because I'm scared of oversleeping. So tired. Used to be that I never used to use alarms in the past -- oh well, better an irritating noise (alarm's set on my phone) and being late, I suppose.

Unrelated note: knitted a shrug. And I look good wearing it! Also received my order of Handmaiden yarn. I also see that my days of ordering yarn online will no longer be, due to budget reasons. (I've only done it twice, tho.) Now, what to make with 400 metres of lovely green silk yarn??? Checking Ravelry just makes me tempted to order more yarn. But must make use of this year-end break to scratch my knitting itch; won't have time when term starts. But it's almost too pretty to knit!
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