lloll4: ice lolly shaped like Mickey Mouse (ice lolly shaped like Mickey Mouse)
Next term's schedule, which has just been released, makes me so annoyed. Because it contains core classes, I can't even drop them, so it looks like for 13 weeks next year, I'm going to have to take this utterly fucked-up schedule, which not only contains two 3-hour classes (not back to back, but ugh) in one day but also two night classes. I utterly loathe night classes, not only because I am so not a night person and not being a teenager anymore I can't go on after 8-9pm* but also this means I can't teach in the evening any more on those two days. This results in the really awful prospect of having to teach on other evenings, which does mean that all my weekday evenings will be taken up. The alternative is, of course, to do without an income stream, but you know, I like eating.

(I can't even take the damned module next year, because I finish up at the end of next year - all going well - and it is apparently only offered in the winter term for my course - and of course, there is no gurantee that even if I do the extreme thing and stretch my study plan out just to take it in winter 2014, it will NOT be a night class. Because the school's planning skills are so awe-inspiring, really.)

So it's Hobson's Choice.

I mean, really. I have already had to put up with all kinds of shitty scheduling problems due to shipping law but I can't blame anyone because it's an elective that I chose, so I keep my grumbles to a minimum, but this goddamn compulsory class's timing is giving me all sorts of die-in-a-fire rage.

*I can teach after that time***, but that's because I'm the one talking and in control. Plus in fact I'm already about to collapse on the inside; my latest classes - the ones I teach, I mean - last until 9.30. I stretch my concentration further by drinking lots of tea and giving myself surreptitious pinches to keep alert. To ask that I take a class from 6 to 9.15pm** is ugh... a little bit beyond human endurance? Keeping in mind you're marked on class participation. You have to do class presentations. It's just- I did it last term and it was very exhausting. I did it, and I don't want to do it anymore.

**The other night class is until 7.30pm. Not too awful timewise, but it does kill off any opportunity I have of teaching that particular evening unless I can arrange to teach from 8 to 9.30pm.

***I do, however, do my studying (and writing) late at night out of pure lack-of-time-ness and also that there are less interruptions at night. I keep nodding off between paragraphs. I'd really just prefer to study during the day, or mornings.

ETA: And that's not including the goddamn make-up classes. Because the school has a policy that if classes fall on public holidays, they should be made up on Saturdays. Which in next term number three. Three holidays, I mean. Two for Lunar New Year, one for Good Friday. All will be made-up on Saturdays the week before or after. And you know what, people have regularly scheduled stuff to do on Saturdays! Look, if I cannot teach in the evenings, then I have to teach on Saturdays, and I really cannot cancel on Saturdays more than once. It's my most heavily scheduled day of the week: 10 to 6. It's bad for my students and makes my boss side-eye me a lot, okay?
lloll4: ice lolly shaped like Mickey Mouse (ponyo grabs ham)
So I'm staring at the email from our TA (hours after) apparently explaining to other people who were supposed to have taken the same midterm, just where the midterm question was to be found in the online student website. Bizarre, because the TA has been very conscientious about emailing everyone with the requisite information/instructions a few days ahead and I thought it was fairly straightforward. Log on, get question*, type answer on Word doc, save and upload doc. No problem, right? For people who are supposed to be computer literate and have been downloading movies/movies for years. (Barring crazy internet connections, that is.)

But apparently there are others who didn't get it. I don't get it. Oh, well. I'm just glad I never did see this email until the midterm was over because I would have panicked. As it was, right after (ok, 5 mins later) I finished uploading my answer and felt like gibbering, my student turned up and I was so frazzled that I taught him for 90 mins instead of our usual 60.

Thots:

Earlier I was at the Bras Brasah library and I never did realise what a lovely courtyard (8 levels up) it has! Reading/study rooms had chockful of students but they were wonderfully, fantastically quiet. So much nicer than uni library, which is too often full of students who want a place to chat and go to the library to do it.

Public library is still very posh-looking, compared to uni building right across the street. It's striking because both are pretty new buildings - less than 10 years old.

And reading week is up! I'm sort of happy about it despite having suddenly self-imposed lots of things for self to do - though more honestly, I'm knackered.

Last night, I decided to try drinking coffee to keep awake. Yeah, right. I face-planted into my notes twenty minutes later. Coffee doesn't work (but tea does) though it smells so good, I keep getting suckered into drinking it. So after I woke up from my nap, I overdid it with the studying and slept much less. Ugh.

Must watch at least one movie this reading week. In an actual theatre. I don't care which one.

*granted, there are two class sections for this particular course, so there are two possible places for the question to be. But the TA already told us which one and even if you cannot remember, there's only two.
lloll4: ice lolly shaped like Mickey Mouse (ponyo grabs ham)
Also, this post is likely to be emblematically ironic of me being a blabbermouth.

Had dinner the other day with an old friend and discussed, among other things (including a moment when I realised I was, like, incapable of discussing philosophy), how she felt burnt out at her job and was thinking of maybe having a career change. Friend works for the government involving something confidential that she's been very discreet about - this will become (?) relevant in a while. So, we were discussing if she were really serious about a career change it would mean possibly getting references and those would have to come from either her boss or a trusted colleague.

And she said she couldn't because that would mean having to reveal her career plans.

ME: But you could talk to someone you trusted, y/n? And ask them to keep it quiet. You've been working there for so long, there's got to be someone.
SHE: The people in my office have revealed personal stuff without meaning to. I've witnessed it.
ME: *WTF?!* But *maybe I'm being idealistic here* they work with confidential stuff, they should be able to keep their mouths shut about a minor personal thing! Especially after you've asked them to keep it quiet!
SHE: No, really, they are good people. But it's just that they make a casual comment and personal stuff comes out.
ME: *still wtf-ing* So what you're saying is, the people you work with have loose lips.
SHE: They don't mean to! It's just that because the work we do is confidential, so we let our guard down when it comes to personal stuff.
ME: *am not seeing the logic* But you just said that you don't share much personal stuff with them. It's not like you're all a big cosy happy family there. *because if you were, then you'd feel comfortable discussing your career plans with them* You keep work separate from personal. Ergo, if you talked to a trusted colleague about a personal matter, you'd expect that matter to be kept under wraps, not blurt it out in the pantry or something.
SHE: You don't understand, you don't work in my office. You don't know what it's like.
ME: Well, yes. But- *wtf* So what it comes down to is, they can't be trusted with personal stuff. They can't be trusted to be discreet.
SHE: Well, it's the pressure of having a job like ours. We deal with confidential matters that we can't discuss it with other people, so we tend to be-
ME: Loose-lipped when it comes to other matters.
SHE: It's hard to describe it when you don't know what my office is like.

Uh-huh. Very true; I conceded her point. I have zero experience with, let's say, super-duper-sekrit government stuff; I have no idea what such departments are like. Maybe no one is trustworthy enough to talk to about a career change in such an office *wtf?* Maybe it's a problem of those particular persons. (Still wtf-ing. I dunno if I should trust my government when it appears that its workers have LOOSE LIPS.)

But I have worked in normal offices with normal commercial secrets (of varying importance) and look, we've all had to be discreet about work at one point or another. I don't blab about work to other people outside of the office, much less personal stuff where I have been asked, you know, to keep quiet about. I just keep quiet. I don't care what the atmosphere of your office is like: if a colleague tells you something and asks you to keep it quiet, then by gum you do not blab it while getting a coffee at the pantry or whatever.

I don't think this is an extraordinary expectation whatever line of work you are in, or how cosy you are with your colleagues. Yes, there are blabbermouths, but the solution is to talk to people who are not blabbermouths. You can't just explain it away by saying, "We handle confidential stuff and therefore we can't keep a secret." Because it makes no sense.

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