The haze did clear up by a lot this afternoon, so despite the unrelenting heat, I stood outside the library and took lots of deep breaths. T'was nice not to feel like you're being smothered.

Although now it has resurged and it's making me cough just a bit. Well, it was a nice little respite. I was starting to forget what a blue sky looked like.

This may be just my singular experience, but the only people who want to take the TOEIC that I've only ever come across are Japanese people. Everyone else (ELT or EFL learners, I mean) take either the IELTS or the TOEFL. Apparently you get career brownie points if your company knows you got a good ranking on the TOEIC. Meanwhile, I'm at the 'but the TOEIC is such a lame test!' stage. (It really is! It has questions that test, lemme see, your ability to match a photograph to spoken descriptions, the same type of question and answer thing for grammer and vocabulary you get on the TOEFL except easier and then reading comprehension on things like mock emails, posters, and the like.)

(Ok, I will concede that it is less lame now that since they've added a speaking and writing section to the test.)

A student came in today so I talked to her about what she wanted to achieve: better general English skills aka all-round improvement, or improved TOEIC scores. Guess what she chose. Look, standardised tests are no doubt very useful to have, but really, isn't it more productive to use your precious time - since you work such long hours (7am to 10pm every day is just crazy) - to improve your English overall rather than drill yourself on test-taking skills? Even business English would be more interesting!

Not to say that you won't learn something whilst doing the preparation for TOEIC as I can see I'm going to have to do a quick run-through on basic grammar, etc, but the starting and ending point is TOEIC. So this necessitated picking up the TOEIC preparation kit at Kinokuniya. Have just been looking through it. (Lame!)

Also stopped by the school library to get a book on bankruptcy law. Because my knowledge of bankruptcy law can be summed up in one scientific term: zero. So basically I ended up lugging a textbook, the TOEIC kit, another novel that caught my eye and another knitting magazine. Lugging books is not an advisable activity in this haze, right? *feeling self-aggrieved, even though it was self-inflicted*

See icon. So much.

Finally got my grades. All B's. Which is averagely... average, and also means I've lost my funding. (It required at least an A to make up a higher grade point average.) So, dammit.

Also have to buy some very expensive textbooks for next term. Ditto.

Not to mention paying more for tuition. Ditto, ditto, ditto.

...It's my own fault for not being as hardworking as I ought to have been, and also shortcomings in my own IQ level, so can't really blame anyone. But still, di... yeah. (ETA: If it sounds like I'm sighing a lot, it's because I'm feeling doubtful about doing the next term. My brain has been having "Look, if you're not smart enough for this then so be it, give up and get a job" vs "Are you just scared about going through with the next term and doing even worse?" vs "What have you got to lose?" arguments with itself all day. >_>)

On a tangentially related note, have been doing volunteer work at pro bono office. Paperwork. Answering phones. And other stuff. But it's pretty interesting, plus it's bracing to be in the company of people who have a mission to help and who are not singlemindedly focused on grades, grades, grades. Only annoyance is, because it's a regular working stint, am feeling tired out at the end of the day; I feel almost too tired to go teach after work, which then makes me feel irritable. And then even more tired by the time it finishes. It's a bit sad to be eating dinner at 10.30. Am using an alarm clock these days because I'm scared of oversleeping. So tired. Used to be that I never used to use alarms in the past -- oh well, better an irritating noise (alarm's set on my phone) and being late, I suppose.

Unrelated note: knitted a shrug. And I look good wearing it! Also received my order of Handmaiden yarn. I also see that my days of ordering yarn online will no longer be, due to budget reasons. (I've only done it twice, tho.) Now, what to make with 400 metres of lovely green silk yarn??? Checking Ravelry just makes me tempted to order more yarn. But must make use of this year-end break to scratch my knitting itch; won't have time when term starts. But it's almost too pretty to knit!

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince movie parody by sarahtales

Sex scandal behind Brideshead Revisited, a look at Mad World: Evelyn Waugh and the Secrets of Brideshead by Paula Byrne

The 10 Best Lady Detectives

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